Easter 2017 / Eloise Hamann (Mother)
Douglas McDonald and Chris were here for Easter. Tia's husband, Jeff, read your poem, Easter. Douglas did not have your poetry book so I gave him one and one for a friend he knows will enjoy it. We lit your candle with crooked lettering per usual.
Love, Mom Close
Easter Poem / Eloise Hamann (Mom)
I just got back from reading your poem, Easter at an open mic for poetry month. Seemed appropriate since next Sunday is the day.
I gave away four of Deathdoubledactyl, your poetry collection.
I'm on my umpty umph draft of my second novel, and have a complicated marketing plan.
I'm over my depression in the sense I feel like doing things again.
Love, Mom Close
51st Birthday, 2017 / Eloise Hamann (Mother)
It seems these posts aren't dated so I guess I'll mark it in the title. I seem to have missed a Christmas greeting in 2016. We passed on Christmas and took a trip to Kauai with Heather.
On your day people are sending postcards to our new unduly elected minority president. Words cannot describe how awful he is or, more to the point, the awful potential consequences of his election. Many words have been wasted on this racist, narcissistic pathological liar who has cheated and bullied his entire life so I’ll stop there.
We’ve already celebrated your birthday at Heather’s new place, which she just finished settling in with her new dining room table. She is so excited, and so am I as I looked forward to her being able to make full use of her cute place.
Next month is National Poetry Month, and I think I’ll read your Easter poem at an open mic in Pleasanton.
I’m working hard as a writer and have a complicated marketing plan, which involves giving away e-books to get email addresses to help sell your next book.
Love, Mom Close
Recited one of your poems in a staff meeting yeste / Tia Woodward (Friend)Read >>
Recited one of your poems in a staff meeting yeste / Tia Woodward (Friend)
Shannon, I recited your poem as an example of passive vs. active voice yesterday when presenting to the staff in SF and LA. This is how I remembered it, but don't know where I'd find the original now:
Mother said to Inga returning from college
Inga, your brother was hit by a train
Never use passive voice
You sound like an illiterate
Wish we could talk / Eloise Hamann (Mother)Read >>
Wish we could talk / Eloise Hamann (Mother)
Two sad events in my life. A despicable man was elected president and Leonard Cohen died. Maybe the latter is good news for you if you meet up or he continues his songwriting wherever you are.
The despicable man has zero redeeming features although one or two of his policies are OK. He is against a bad trade agreement and claims to support family leave. He has very few articulated plans and is volatile so... We can kiss efforts for clean water and air goodbye.
He is mysoginist and racist. The Washington Post revealed a tape on which he bragged that his fame allowed him to grope women and get away with it. He denied he'd ever really done it. It was just locker room talk, but 17 women came forward, all liars (according to him) accusing him of grabbing them inappropriately. One woman was just standing on the sidewalk and when she acted horrified, he asked her if she knew who he was.
He made fun of a disabled reporter, and his awfulness continues. Oh, I guess you might remember him since you lived in New York. His name rhymes with Frump.
I am depressed and was so even before the result as the election was so awful and the media followed his daily outrageousness.
I am working on distracting myself from it all, but people are protesting in large cities all over the country. You'd no doubt be marching in NYC.
One distracting thing is Heather's move to Alameda across the bay. Andrew's girlfriend will be moving in so...
Alameda is a great small city with a sense of community. Free parking and Heather can take the ferry to work. I think she will really like it there.
Happy Birthday! / Scott Goodno (Friend)
Happy Birthday, Shannon!
I wish you were here to goof on this year's madness.
You'd likely (faceetiously) declare support for Cruz or Trump just to infuriate
those who weren't paying attention to your pantomime.
You've missed a lot. Matt's as beautiful and cantankerous as ever.
Blake's has a wife and two little girls. He somehow manages to embarrass himself with every food server he encounters. He's talented like that.
And you've been missed a lot. We sure could use you in Minneapolis when the gang gathers for Mancamp® this summer.
But you'll be remembered. Close
Happy 50th Birthday wherever you are / Eloise Hamann (mom)Read >>
Happy 50th Birthday wherever you are / Eloise Hamann (mom)
Your Dad and I took a walk in Sunol Wilderness today. In an area called Little Yosemite we scattered a bit of your ashes. I'm sure you've hikded there with us.
Surprised to see a tribute from Heidi Witte and a candle from Muffin. I love it when that happens although your old friends are sad you've left us.
Heather did your corned beef party this year and showed the super 8 movies of your childhood.
Love, Mom Close
Say it's not true! / Heidi Witte (Old Friend )
Shannon's name popped into my head this morning. No reason, it just happens from time to time. I decided to Google- see if there was some, any connection or reflection of Shannon. Sadly, I stumbled upon this website. I read entry upon entry of Eloise and her pain of losing a son. This didn't look like the freckle faced, curly auburn haired wide smiled kid my sister Muffin spent hours playing with at the pond. When I read further and saw an entry from his sister Heather, my dear long lost friend, I knew it was my childhood Shannon. I am so very sorry to hear that Shannon is no longer on this earth. Please accept my heartfelt sympathies. I have no idea what happened to that loving boy but I am so saddened to hear he is no longer with you. Lovingly, Heidi Witte Close
Holiday time / Eloise Hamann (Mom)
It's the week between Christmas and New Years. We lit your crooked candle in your memory as usual. Chris and Vic now come over the day after Christmas as Chris is always wiped out from overtime delivering packages for UPS. Astrid is 8 and growing like a weed. She is a lovely child. You would love her.
Your dad had his left hip "revised" on the 8th of December. It was replaced 23 years ago and not expected to last more than 15 years. He is using a walker, but is more mobile every day.
I'm now determined to market my writing, and yours as well. You once said writing was a lot of work and indeed it is, but marketing seems even harder or perhaps you were including that aspect in your comment.
I created an author website---ratemydoodles.com Let me know what you think.
California is getting a much needed break from a long drought. It's an el Nino year.
I love you,
Eleven years ago / Eloise Hamann (Mom)
Thinking about you today. I recently entered your novel, "Brad Pitt Won't Leave Me Alone," in a contest which would connect me with movie and TV producers.
Your dad is going in for a second hip replacement on the same hip this Tuesday. He will probably have a knee done next year as well. The other hip replacement is also old so we don't know how long that one will last. He is not looking forward to a spate of surgery.
Heather is doing her Tech Guy show midday today and then will come out for dinner. I need to get Leonard Cohen music going soon. I appreciate him more each time I hear him.
I am working on polishing a second novel. Even more than you were alive, one needs to work as hard at marketing as on the writing. I hate marketing, but have resigned myself to trying.
I'm weary of working on politics, weary of spending so much time and never knowing if I'm accomplishing anything. I guess I do add to a crowd which sometimes highlights stuff.
I'd love to be talking with you about the ridiculous clown car of Republican candidates including a braying, lying Donald Trump and a man claiming to be converted to Christianity and lives in lala land.
Bernie Sanders is doing well. I thought the socialist label would hurt him big time, but people are liking what he is saying. He wants free tuition at public universities and to grow a movement to lessen the influence of big money in government.
Has Nana found you? / Eloise Hamann (Mom)
Your nana died on the morning of August 10th. She couldn't live alone any longer, so she was living with Victoria. I went to Iowa for her 91st birthday last January and took her back with me for a few days and then flew her to Portland. She declined rapidly and at last was not recognizable as your nana.
I flew to Portland when V said she was in her last days, and she died the day after. Then I flew to Iowa so visited mortuaries on both ends. She would have liked the service as nice things were said about her. They made her look good which she would also like. She wore a wig I bought her which was lucky as she refused to leave V's house for anything even to get her hair colored.
I brought back the poems and remembrances she liked to write for deceased friends and relatives. Here is yours:
A Grandmother Remembers
This grandmother remembers a tousled, sandy haired little boy who came to Bumpa and Nana's farm every
Christmas with his Mom and Dad and sister, Heather. It was such a joy for cousins to be together
and the opening of gifts.
In the summer when the Moms and Dads with my
grandchildren descended on our farm, they would have
such fun on the momemade tractor/mower made by their Bumpa. Of course, he would start it for them,
and had as much fun as they did.
I remember Shannon, Heather, and cousin Natalie feeding the bottle to the lamb, who had become quite
domesticated and enjoyed the attention
they so eagerly gave.
I remember being amazed at the pictures Shannon used to draw for his nana. Religious pictures of Jesus on the cross at Calvary, surrounded by Easter eggs.
So we remember Shannon with love and are consoled that he is in a better place, being greeted by loved ones, who have gone before, free from life's struggles, and is resting in the everlasting arms of Jesus.
Shannon, you will live forever in our hearts. We love you.
Nana (Myra Heuer) http://bit.ly/1Mytg9I
Love, Mom Close
Easter/ Eloise Hamann (Mom)
Andrew read your poem Easter at our Easter festivities. We had a riotous time. Chris, Vic, Astrid, Douglas & Chris, Andrew and his parents---Sandy and Lou were here. Heather came after work.
Much laughter! We lit your candle. Vic made lots more copies of Easter on quality paper. Remember we passed those out at your memorial.
Love, Mom Close
We remembered you on your birhday / Eloise Hamann (Mom)Read >>
We remembered you on your birhday / Eloise Hamann (Mom)
Corned beef dinner
Family picture with your photo
Lots of stories about you.
Miss you, love you
Christmas Time / Eloise Hamann (Mom)
Your aunt Maxine passed away this Christmas. On Christmas Eve, McKenzie had a baby girl. McKenzie is your cousin Julie's daughter. Eleanor Grace is her name. I imagine Maxine was told she had a new great granddaughter. Maxine's quality of life was poor so there is some relief, but it is still will be a big loss to her children.
Your nana is frail and not doing well mentally.
Chris and Vic will come over tomorrow to share Christmas. His job at UPS is so exhausting he needs to rest on Christmas day.
We had gumbo for Christmas Eve, crab benedict for Christmas brunch, and duck a l'orange for Christmas dinner.
I am writing another novel. I started it shortly after the election which turned out miserably. It was a good distraction.
Then as it was, then again it will be / Leif (friend)Read >>
Then as it was, then again it will be / Leif (friend)
And though the course may change sometimes
Rivers always reach the sea Close
Ten Year Reflection / Eloise Hamann (Mom)
The first year I often wore your black Cuba pullover, and a friend wondered how I could wear it thinking it was a painful reminder. She did not understand I needed no reminder of my pain. I needed comfort, and the pullover helped. It was the black top with flowers I wore to your memorial service which I can no longer wear. I love reminders of your life, but not of your death.
My friend could not wear her grandmother’s skirt because it was a painful reminder to her. Years later she lost her husband and she understood. She wore his shirt around the house.
I thought of you daily for about five years. Now it’s once a week. One visit to a museum I bought a polished rock in the shape of a heart. I’ve forgotten the special rock material, maybe . When I got home I decided it would reside in your ashes.
People comment on the painting of you by Attila when they first visit the house, and comment on how handsome you were. A few more people have read your book who have read mine. I’m almost ready to bite the marketing bullet.
Heather has scored me two interviews with newspapers: Sioux City Journal and the Spartan Daily---San Jose State’s student paper. Her angle isn’t the book, but the author. Mathematician turned writer is the hook. Never thought of that. I’m working on another book. I was bummed by the last election. I had turned to politics from writing as I was turned off by marketing activity and too easily angered at injustice. The book has a political message, but if I can’t garner some attention to the one I wrote, and I can’t get a publisher I don’t know if I will self publish. If I could get going I could get more attention to the Brad Pitt book and maybe the poetry book, DeathDoubledactyl.
You now have four first cousins once removed. Evan has two daughers, Erica a son, and Missy a son. I think he was only a couple of months old when you left us.
We light your candle with the crooked Shannon engraved in the glass on special occasions. Today Heather is coming out to help decorate for Christmas. We had decorated the day before you died so we try to decorate on the 4th or 5th in honor of your love of Christmas.
Your nana is not doing well. She has dementia and many aches and pains. I will to to see her for her January 28th birthday. Not looking forward to the Iowa winter weather.
Love from Mom Close
Just thinking about you / Eloise Hamann (Mom)Read >>
Just thinking about you / Eloise Hamann (Mom)
We are going to see the Manhatten Transfer tonight and I thought of you. I guess the former lead has joined your part of the universe.
I started another novel, but I'm realizing I have to bite the bullet and work hard on marketing my first novel and your work. I have little stomach for it, but Heather has the expertise and will help me. She got me two interviews---Sioux City Journal and the Spartan Daily, the San jose State student paper.
It's been a while / Eloise Hamann (Mom)
I still miss you. Did I write that I have self published a book called Inhabited? I call it Garrison Keillor meets Stephen King as it's loosely set in Rock Valley, Iowa and it includes the supernatural or preternatural.
People seem to like it and it's getting your Brad Pitt book some attention. I'm going to campaign for your buddies to review the book for the 10th anniversary of your leaving us.
Last night we saw Avenue Q, a puppet play you would looooove as Heather likes to pronounce the word "love." I wore an out fit you complimented me on so I thought of you.
Busy with politics as usual, but thinking of writing another book. The marketing angle discouraged me, but maybe if I hire a marketer and can get Inhabited some attention I'll feel more like trying again. Heather has been of great help. It was her idea to put a picture of the book in my signature. After a while I should replace it with Brad Pitt and DeathDoubleDactyl. Hmm, I could put them all in I suppose. I wonder if one can set it up to alternate automatically. Probably not.
Love, Mom Close
It's your birthday / Eloise Hamann (Mom)
I can't believe you were born 48 years ago.
Chris, Vic, and Astrid just left. You would love Astrid. She's a sweetie like her parents. We lit your candle and had your fave----corned beef.
We talked about what a unique human being you were.
Love, Mom Close
We are almost out of the candle oil which we use in your glass candle with the crooked Shannon engraved on it. The store no longer sells the glass candles and so a few years ago I bought all of the oil they had left knowing they would order no more. Today I will go online and look for it.
I still think of the black bag with your name on it which surfaced in our cabin on the Rhone cruise. Thanks for reaching out and making me question my beliefs. Unfortunately, I attended your Nana's church whose current pastor is narrow minded and whose sermon was out of touch with our current culture and understanding, to say nothing of my own values. His children's sermon included the statement "white is good and black is bad." He was talking about symbolism regarding men of the bible wearing white robes. If he had stopped with white symbolizing purity, I might have thought little of it. Adding "black is bad" was so unnecessary and I couldn't imagine someone so oblivious as to not recognize the implication regarding racism. I gently informed him as I shook hands. He merely replied that that's what the colors symbolized. His wife got it, however as I saw her eyes grow wide or maybe she'd never heard anyone question her pastor/husband. His sermon at Missy's wedding was based on the wife being subject to the husband. You can imagine how I felt about that.
So I imagine you floating around this old world rather than sitting on a heavenly cloud. I wish you could scare the bejesus out of the Tea Party types somehow.
Political stuff keeps pulling me away from writing although there is some writing involved. I really like trying to do a good job of messaging ala reaching people's values. Repuglicans have think tanks for that and use focus groups. They are incredibly assinine these days and are hurting our country big time. I'm glad I'm old. I won't be affected in my life time, but I don't want to see the long term consequences of their obstructionism.
I also don't have the stomach for the marketing writers must do. Now to get published, you must have a social media presence large enough to sell your book. I go to occasional writers workshops and that theme is touted over and over. I'm afraid it's true.
Well, best go shopping for your candle oil. I'll probably also go up to the Shannon corner of our attic and read old letters.