Your birthday gathering  / Eloise Hamann (Mom)
This was our fifth celebration of your birthday with your favorite dinner. Chris and Vic brought daffed daffodils. You would adore Astrid because she is an adorable, smart fun little cookie. We call her monkeynoodle for some reason.


I found some pictures in your things including a stunning one of you hitchhiking. It had to be someone you hitchhiked with who took it. I have a bad memory for names so could use some help in remembering. I am trying to put it at the top of your photo album, but the site is not cooperating so for now it's at the end.  The site is also putting the wrong dates on additions to the site. 

Heather stayed over and is still abed. The candles Vicky and I lit for you yesterday were labeled the 14th on this site for some reason.

Wish you had been here!

Love, Mom Close

You just had one of your poems published  / Eloise Hamann (Mom)
I entered your collection of poetry in a contest.  It didn't get chosen for publication, but the editors liked Hiroshima's Diary so much they wanted to publish it.

It's in Vol IX No.1 2008-2009 of Many Mountains Moving.

Your work lives on!

Love, Mom Close

your ears must be burning!  / Vicky Wheeler (xoxo)
ok, so there's this facebook thing these days. wanda found me there & that led to vince, jon anne, taryn, aaron, lots of ppl who remember you. there's a FB page called 'i drank at the deadwood in iowa city in the 80s' or something like that. we're all therenow. there are pics of you from the photobooth. you were GORGEOUS. miss you so much. xoxoxovicky Close

Christmas PS  / Eloise Hamann
On Christmas Day someone reviewed the first chapter of your Brad Pitt novel on the online writers workshop.  People usually review as you post chapters as what's newly posted is on the home page, but once you have the novel all posted no one finds it any longer. 

And yesterday, a high school friend and his wife stopped by.  They couldn't get over how good looking you are.  They were looking at the tuxedo photos.

Thought you'd be pleased.

Love, Mom Close

Letters from Shannon  / Eloise Hamann (Mom)
Dear Shannon,
I spent this anniversary reading your letters. I did the same last year, but somehow this year I was able to laugh. You hated one of your classes because it was chock full of IDIOTS. In one letter you had a graph of your moods with peaks on the weekends. It’s also been a history of sorts. I just came to the computer to google Mary Beth Whitehead to remind myself of her story. I recall we didn’t agree about her situation but we had a good discussion. We always had good discussion. This time I was also reminded of your fierce passion on subjects and your own life. It was good to be reminded just how how much I love you. Sometimes my worry and irritation over your careless ways got in the way of that.
Heather’s on her way. We plan to make Hermits. We’ll leave one out for you. I recorded I heart Huckabees as you liked that movie. I’ve seen it once but we’ll watch it again.
***

I didn’t remember much of the movie so it was good to watch it again. We lit your candle. Heather says Christmas is the time to do all things Shannon. I agree!
Xxooo,
Mom
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been a while  / Vicky
oh, i hear songs all the time and think i should make a tape for you, shannon! i haven't made a mixtape since you left us, but i still listen to the copies of the ones i made for you.
last night i saw a screening of 'hedwig' hosted by john cameron mitchell at RISD college. he had a Q&A afterwards--he was REALLY funny and smart.  i remembered when you told me about 'hedwig' a long time ago--it's what prompted me to see it in the first place and then watch it over & over again--and you said back then that you knew him. so i couldn't think of any question to ask besides 'john cameron mitchell, i love your work, do you remember shannon?' but i didn't ask it. all these earnest young college kids asked dorky questions, trying to be erudite and impressive. JCM was very kind to them, even when they droned on and on about nonsense. i was reminded of how when we (you & i) were young dorky college kids and you wanted to someday open a bar called 'kindness,' and how you valued kindness above all other virtues. tonight i'm having a bourbon and toasting KINDNESS in your honor, shannon.
i miss you so much. *swak* Close

Four years  / Eloise Hamann (Mom)
Shannon,
Heather will come out and we will look at pictures and read your old letters. We’ll finish the Christmas décor. We had put up the tree four years ago the day before I got that awful call from New York. It’s become a tradition for us to continue to haul our Christmas finery down from the attic on the 4th. Last year your father relented and we have an artificial tree. Heather bought seashells for tree ornaments. We’ll add the pine scent with candles. The glass candle with your name etched in crookedly has been an odd comfort to me and we light it on holidays or when we are in the mood at a special dinner like when Chris and Vic come over. You would adore Astrid. You would be Uncle S. I am Grandma E, your Dad is Grandpa K, and Heather is Auntie H. She is already saying words and calls me E and your Dad K.

Miss you sweetie.
Love, Mom Close

What Ben said! (the nite before the '08 election)  / Heather (Sister)
The silence that is you not being here...the silence of me not roaring with laughter from your spot-on Sarah Palin immitation. See how we fill in the blanks? But they're not filled in at all really... You know I miss you all the time and very deeply but I feel like I can say especially RIGHT NOW! You'd be thrilled with Barack I know...but I wish I could hear you say exactly why because I know you'd have much more depth and insight than I am capable of. This time tomorrow the world will be changed...I hope you can see and approve. And I can only imagine the celebrating we would be doing. I've got three bottles of champagne in the fridge. I'm volunteering tomorrow (looks like in the rain) to get ppl to vote no on a gay marriage ban. I'm excited. I've pretty much said all this in my inner dialogue with you, but more is churning as I actually write instead of 'muse'... I know you'd be happy for the things going on in my life...that you'd like my new 'friend', applaud my 'dancing'...defend my actions! Sure wish I could hear you say so though...the hubris! And that I 'bravely' travelled to Europe on my own. I thought you would like this...I got to see REM in May and say hi to Michael...I found him less shy, in fact very open and happy. In front of a lot of ppl he said kind things about you but also that you were a 'beautiful and troubled man'...I thought 'huh, trouble is in the eye of the beholder'! ;() But beautiful yes undoubtedly... (I guess my view is that you're like how ppl say 'he's trouble' or 'here comes trouble'...they might say it to a cute, messy toddler who is on his way to knock something over. Well, whatever.) Anyway, get God and all your angel friends to deliver us a President Obama! Do you have any 'pull'? Teehee... Close

oh wow  / Ben
the memory of you came rushing back all at once today and i didn't know what to do with it.  i think if one of us had just moved away we wouldn't remember each other at all, but now you're part of my internal dialogue, dropping a comment every once in a while and then i'm reevaluating everything in that context.  i dunno, i thought i had something more profound to say here but really guess i'm just remarking on the silence that is you not knocking at my door. Close

I miss kibbitzing with you about the upcoming elec  / Eloise Hamann (Mom)
I know we would have spent hours and hours on the phone about our candidates.  I know you would have supported Hillary in the primaries and we would have had grand debates over whether being black or being a hated cheater's wife would have meant more baggage.  I think you having met Hillary and having been charmed by her would have gone for her.  I decided the hatred of the Clintons was more of a liability, but it was a close call.  Once I made my call, however, I became annoyed with Hillary and we would have gone round and round no doubt.

However, we would have both had our yuks and feelings of wanting to vomit over the negative turn of the McCain campaign. Speaking of yuks, the moose woman would have had both of us howling our heads off.  It would have been great fun and a great release.  Obama is ahead, but I'm so nervous.  The RNC sent out this mailer associating Obama with terrorists absolutely approved by McCain.  Am I wrongly giving you credit for the name Repuglicans. 

I don't know if you read or would have read any Harry Potter.  At any rate, Voldemort is such an evil witch or whatever they're called that throughout the series, you must not say "Voldemort".  You must instead say "He who must not be named."

Your wonderful city's paper runs articles by Paul Krugman.  One of the things he said ---and I can picture you being as creative ---of the Repuglican Convention is that there was no mention of
"He who must not be named". It is in imho one of the most ingenious things I've ever read in a newspaper column.

You won't believe that a friend of mine sent me a bogus email containing a column purportedly written by Maureen Dowd claiming all of Obama's internet donations came from the middleeast.  The information was ludicrous so you know no reputable columnist wrote it and certainly not Maureen Dowd whose columns are full of wit and humor and of course the phony column was full of boogey man scare tactics.  What is it about this phony shit which sounds so much alike?  Do they only have one neanderthal writer?  My gawd, if you're going to make stuff up why not be suble, creative, maybe even believable?  What's funny is a site which talked about the real column on the date the phony one was supposed to have appeared said the hoax was an insult to the American intelligence. While I agree, whoever said that didn't know how dumb and ill informed some people are.

We plan a party on 1/20/09, the end of an error, no matter who wins,  You'd better come down from your perch and attend.  Should have Chris and Vic over on election night, but I don't want to jinx it.  Obama is ahead in the polls, but the negative shit is piling up from the other side and I, for one, don't underestimate the average voter so I'm scared.

This is a long winded way of saying, I miss you especially at this time as we had some marvelous political discussion.  I've lit your candle which stands near me and it is waving in the breeze.

I Love you so much,
Mom Close

* / Leif
i miss you boldly, underlined and in italics. Close

Truly Arrived  / Eloise Hamann (Mom)
You would have been amused by my recent crossword puzzle.  The clue was M. Stipe's band, 3 letters.  You can be sure your friend has arrived when he appears in a crossword.  It indicates not only gravitas but also permanency.

Love, Mom Close

Generation Kill  / Eloise Hamannn (Mom)
The book, Generation Kill, that you edited has been made into a mini-series that will air this weekend.  It should be interesting.

Love you,
Mom Close

Just thinking of you  / Eloise Hamann (Mom)

 

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Your Brad Pitt Novel  / Eloise Ham (Mom)
I am submitting it chapter by chapter on an online writers' group for review.  You would enjoy the reactions to your outrageous and hysterical Carol.  I see the novel as a tragicomedy, but many see Carol as so LOL funny that I hope they are not disappointed with the later chapters.  The site is a lot of work because in order to post one must earn posting points by reviewing other work.  It has helped me see whatI need to improve as a writer.  I wrote a 'practice' novel.  I am not so proud of it, but with more work it might become something I will be proud of.  It's in the genre of Steven King.

More and more companies are accepting online submissions which would have made life so much easier for you. 

Love you, sweetie
Mom Close

Happy Birthday  / Sandy Borello (Aunt)
Happy Birthday Shannon,  It is hard to believe that this will be the 4th birthday you have missed on earth.  I believe that you are watching over your family and have guided them with your gentle touch.  Your life here was too brief, but you have touched many and through your death I have gotten to know you better. 

May today bring peace to all who love you.

Your Aunt Sandy Close

All excited for your birthday...  / Heather (Sistah)
I'm throwing your party this year! The daffodils ARE daffing! Dafinitely, and right there in the middle of the table. I have 3 kinds of whiskey...yum! And lots of beer. And the very best peaches I could find...they smell wonderful. I'm sure you would eat them ALL if you were here. It's a beautiful day here. On earth. Wish you were here - anywhere on this earth. Eating all the fruit, drinking all the whiskey... pissing me off, making me laugh so hard I could piss... Close

PPS / Eloise Hamann (Mom)
I received an email that a guest had added a photo to your photo album which I needed to approve.  When I went to view it I discovered a picture of three children holding cats.  I recognized none of them.  It appears to be a mistake but I can't imagine how one could make such.  I've requested the email address of the donor to make sure.  Maybe you should go into edit mode and check it out.

Love, Mom Close

PS / Eloise Hamann (Mom)
I'm still at the computer and your Dad announced from the other room that Michael Stipe is on the cover of the entertainment section of one of our papers.  The headline is REM's fortune is poised to 'Accelerate'.  Their forthcoming album is named Accelerate and they will be participating in the SXSW festival in Austin.  I guess this is Michael's birthday gift via your Dad. 

It always makes your Dad sad to come to this site, but it makes me feel good to talk to you and to see that others remember.

Love, Mom Close

Your Birthday  / Myra Heuer (Nana)
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